Our Duty Towards Our Parents

Consider Proverbs 15:20. What are some words which mean the opposite of despise? Therefore, we should....

__________________________ our parents.

Read Proverbs 20:20. What would be the opposite of the word curse (see also Proverbs 30:11)? ___________________ Do you bless your parents and speak well of them before your friends?  Before your brothers and sisters?

Why does God use such strong language in Proverbs 30:17? Is our attitude towards our parents really that important? Is the Fifth Commandment important (see Exodus 20:12)? ______ What does the word ‘honor" mean?________________________________________________________________________ What was the punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment according to Exodus 21:17?_______ Did God intend young people to take the Fifth Commandment seriously? _______

Consider the person who says, "I’ll take some money from Mom and Dad. They will never know it, and it is not really wrong to do this because we are all part of the same family and I belong to them and their money belongs to me. I’ll be careful to use this money wisely. A few dollars will not make a big difference anyway." What does Proverbs 28:24 say about this kind of thinking? Is such a thing a transgression (sin) in God’s sight? Why? If a person would steal from his loved ones (parents), what might be do to those he is not even close to?

A family in many ways is like a football team. Let’s compare the two:



The team must have a HEAD (someone who leads, gives instructions, lays down the rules). In this case it is the COACH.

Who is the HEAD of the family (1 Cor. 11:3; Ephesians 5:23)?________

The team must have those who submit to the authority of the HEAD. In this case the players.

Who should submit to the authority of the HEAD?_____________________________

RULES are necessary ("don’t be late for practice" "take ten laps around the field" etc.)

What is one rule in your home?

DISCIPLINE and HARD WORK are required. There is a place for FUN (bus rides, victory celebrations. etc.)

Have you been assigned chores and responsibilities? _______ Can a family have FUN together?_______

Read Proverbs 10:5 carefully. What virtue is exemplified by the wise son? ___________________________________ What vice (evil habit or tendency, fault) is exemplified by the shameful son? __________________________

HOW LAZY ARE YOU IN YOUR HOME? Let’s test ourselves for laziness:
Do you have to be asked
repeatedly to do your chores?
Do your parents have to get after you to do your homework?
Do you do helpful and constructive things around the home even when not asked?
Do you ever help with the dishes or with cleaning or with other household chores, even when it is not your turn?
Do you ever say, "Mom (or Dad) is there anything I can do for you?"
Do you watch TV more than two hours a day?
Do you make your bed every morning and keep your room neat?
Do you have to be dragged out of bed in the morning?

Instruction By Parents

Consider Proverbs 1:8. Is this verse talking about good instruction or bad instruction (see also Proverbs 4:1-2,11)? ________________________________ Are the parents mentioned in Proverbs 1:8 godly parents or ungodly parents? _________________________ What kind of instruction do you get in your home?

Quickly skim through Proverbs chapters 1-7. Make a note of the verses in which the parent is instructing or warning the young person: ________________________________________________________________________________

In Proverbs 1:8 the son is told to "hear...and don’t forsake..." According to Proverbs 1:10-15, what would a son have to do to forsake this instruction? ___________________________________________________________________________  (In other words, what instruction did the father give in Proverbs 1:10-15 and what would a son have to do to forsake that instruction?)

A son or daughter should ___________________ to his or her father and not ________________ his or her mother (Proverbs 23:22).

What instruction should a son (or daughter) not listen to (Proverbs 19:27)? _________________________________________________________

What would be the opposite of receiving your father’s words (compare Proverbs 2:1)? ____________________________ Our parents instruct us, but how do we know if we have rightly received this instruction? "Even a ________________ is known by his___________ whether his work be pure and whether it be right" (Proverbs 20:11). How are your "DOINGS" doing? What kind of "works" and "deeds" come forth from your life? Do they show you to be a foolish young person or a wise young person?

According to Proverbs 3:1, a son should always remember his father’s __________. A godly father gives his son commandments (Proverbs 3:1) for his own good (Proverbs 3:2). Is it a serious thing to break God’s commandments? ______ Is it a serious thing to break your father’s commandments? ______ How does a son or daughter learn to keep God’s commandments? Where is the first place the son or daughter can practice commandment keeping? ____________________________

The fear of the LORD (see Proverbs 1:7) is first taught in the home. If children do not learn to fear and reverence and respect their parents, how can they ever learn to fear and respect and honor God (compare Malachi 1:6)? Was the father in Proverbs 2:1-5 concerned about teaching the fear of the Lord? ______

Can you find three generations in Proverbs 4:1-4? ______ Which were concerned about doing and teaching what was right? ___________________________________________________________________Which one may or may not do right? ____________________________________________ Was your father once in your shoes (Proverbs 4:3)? _______ Remember, he once had a father and mother too!

In Proverbs 4:1 Solomon is saying, "I’m teaching you" and in verses 3 and 4, "My Father (David) taught me!" What will you teach your children? What kind of instruction will you give to them? Imagine your home 15 or 20 years from now (assuming that God should give you a marriage partner and children). What will your home be like? What place will the Bible have in your home? What place will prayer have? What place will the local church have? Will your family be evangelistic (seeking to lead and win others to the Lord)? How? What are the five most important things you would want to teach your children?
1) ____________________________________________________________
2) ____________________________________________________________
3) ____________________________________________________________
4) ____________________________________________________________
5) ____________________________________________________________

Remember, the kind of person you are will have an effect on your children (Proverbs 20:7)? What valuable things will you leave to your children and even to your grandchildren (compare Proverbs 13:22).

Can a son or daughter who heeds the instruction of a godly parent avoid many problems (see Proverbs 4:10-12 and especially the last part of 4:12)? ______ Can you think of times when you stumbled (in school, at home, with friends) because you did not hear and did not heed your parents?

Part of the parents’ instruction involves WARNING. Please MATCH the following:



Warning about not going with sinners and having them as companions.


Proverbs 6:6-11



Warning about the wicked, worldly woman.


Proverbs 23:19-21,29-32



Warning about laziness. C. Proverbs 1:10-15; 2:12-15; 4:14



Warning about falling into error.


Proverbs 19:27



Warning about the dangers of wine and the folly of drunkenness. E. Proverbs 2:16; 5:3-8; 7:24-25; 23:26-28

Do your parents ever warn you? What do they warn you about? Do you heed the warnings? Have you ever gotten into trouble because you failed to heed a parental warning?

Good parents not only warn but they encourage us to do what is right. Please MATCH the following:



Parents should encourage children to trust God.


Proverbs 7:1-4; 8:32; 23:23; 24:13-14; 27:11



Parents should encourage children to seek after wisdom.


Proverbs 3:5-6, 24-26



Parents should encourage children to fear God. C. Proverbs 24:21

Good parents also need to rebuke their children and get after them when they are wrong. What kind of son does not listen to rebuke (Proverbs 13:1)? _____________________ Do your parents let you know when you are going the wrong way or doing the wrong thing? Do you appreciate this? Do you need this? If you ever had children would you want to do this to them?

Whose wisdom is spoken of in Proverbs 5:1 (in other words, who does the pronoun "my" refer to?)? _____________________________________

Name two or three reasons why your parents should have more wisdom than you:

1) ___________________________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________________________
3) ___________________________________________________________

Suppose you went to work with an auto mechanic (or with a seamstress), and this was
a type of work in which you did not have much previous experience. Who would the instructor be? Who would have the wisdom? Would you need to listen carefully to the instructor? Would you need to carefully follow directions? If you fail to hear and heed the instructor, would you probably make some mistakes? When God starts a person off in life, He gives him parents to work with!

Parents should be careful to teach that there are others that we should fear and respect and honor (see Proverbs 24:21) such as:

1). ____________________________ 2) ____________________________

Correction By Parents

Why does a father correct (spank, discipline) his son (Proverbs 3:12)? ___________________________________________________ Firm loving discipline must be practiced in the home. What is the difference between the godly discipline of children and the ungodly abuse of children (child abuse)?

Why does "sparing the rod" show that a parent hates the child (Proverbs 13:24)? Do you have "loving" parents? A son should be chastened (spanked) from his earliest days "while there is __________" (Proverbs 19:18). A late start in child-discipline might prove to be too late. When a tree is just a sapling you can guide its growth and make it go in the direction you want (by using ropes, etc.). This cannot be done to an older tree. It is too late!

A well disciplined child is a D_________ to the S_________ (Proverbs 29:17). Parents need to be concerned with a child’s long range welfare and happiness, not his short range welfare and happiness. A parent only concerned about the child’s short range happiness would say, "I hate to cause my child pain and tears and such unhappiness. I’ll have to find some other method instead of spanking!" The parent who is concerned about the long range welfare of the child says, "I hate to allow my child to go in the wrong direction. A little pain and a few tears now is really worth it because it will save much grief and agony and sorrow for my child later!" Consider Proverbs 23:13-14. Is there something much worse than the rod? _____________________________________________

Would you want a doctor who is concerned about your short range happiness or your long range happiness? Suppose you had a deadly, spreading cancer that must be removed right away. Would you want the doctor to say, "Oh, I could never cut into this person. And besides, operations are not very nice things to go through." The doctor who spares the knife hates the patient (compare Proverbs 13:24)! The teacher who spares the homework hates the student! The coach who spares the painful exercise drills hates the athletes!

The duty of parents is to T ________________ their children (Proverbs 22:6). If you were a parent (and someday you most likely will be), what and how would you train your child? What kind of a person would you want to train him (or her) to be? What kind of behavior would you want to train and develop? How have you been trained? What kind of spiritual training have you been given? What are you doing with the training you have been given?

The Blessing To Parents

Read Proverbs 17:25 carefully. What would a wise son be to his father? _____________________________________________ What would a wise son be to his mother? __________________________ From what two sources can trouble come upon a father according to Proverbs 19:13?  From his  S_________ and from his W____________ ("continual dripping"---think of the Chinese water torture: drop... drop.. .drop. . .nag. . .nag. . .nag. . .etc.)

How can you bring gladness to your father’s heart (Proverbs 15:20)? ________________________ How can you make the heart of your (godly) parents rejoice (Proverbs 23:15; 23:24-25)? __________________________________________  It is a wonderful thing when parents can be truly proud of their children. Sadly, this is often not the case. How can a young person bring shame to his parents (Proverbs 28:7; 29:15)? __________________________________________ Don’t be a "Father-waster" and a "Mother-chaser" (Proverbs19:26)!  [The word "chase" means "to drive away" or "to drive out."]

How much does your father mean to you? In Proverbs 17:6 we learn that "the ________ of children are their ________________." Does your father carry any WEIGHT with you? Does he have a WEALTH of wisdom? Does he have much WORTH or value to you? (GLORY involves the WEIGHT, WEALTH and WORTH of a person). The same is true for the mother. The value of a godly mother is very high. She is a rare gem (Proverbs 31:10). What do her children do (Proverbs 31:28)? _______________________________

What is the best gift you can give your parents (see Proverbs 10:1; 15:20; 28:15,24-25)?

a. a two week vacation to Disney World
b. a new car
c. $10,000
d. YOURSELF (present them with a wise son or daughter)

And donít wait for Christmas or for a birthday!