Here are some DATING TIPS which should be prayerfully and carefully considered:
1) BE A NONCONFORMIST.
In Romans 12:1 the Christian is told: "Be not ___________________________ to this world, but be ye ______________________________ by the renewing of your mind." In other words, don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold! For example, don’t let television be your guide as to what is proper and improper in the area of dating, sex and marriage. Your standard and guide for what is proper and right should be (circle the one correct answer):
2) HONOR YOUR PARENTS (Ephesians 6:1-2) and submit to whatever rules and regulations they set down concerning dating (see Chapter 5).
3) REJOICE IN GOD’S SOVEREIGN CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE.
If you really love God and are His child, then He has a wonderful plan for your life (Romans 8:28--how did the life of Joseph in the Old Testament illustrate the truth of Romans 8:28?).God is working out all the details in your life, and God will not allow you to miss out on that special person He has for you. God is never late, but what must we learn to do (Psalm 27:14)? _________________________________________ God had a wonderful person in mind for Isaac, and her name was _______________________ (Genesis 24:51). How old was Isaac when he took this wonderful person to be his wife (Genesis 25:20)? ________________ Isaac did not miss out on God’s choice for him!
4) AVOID HAVING A ONE PERSON COMPLEX.
It is possible for a young person to become interested in a member of the opposite sex to the exclusion of everyone else. Every waking moment is devoted to thinking about this person! As a result, this person begins walking around in a dream world and others are ignored. The only thing that matters is that MOST IMPORTANT PERSON!
Please correct the following verse: "For to me to live is my boyfriend (girlfriend)"--Philippians 1:21. Never make a "god" out of another person. Christ is the Christian’s MOST IMPORTANT PERSON! Put the Lord first, and then show a healthy concern and interest in others!
5) DEVELOP HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS WITH MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. Contacts from church, school, neighborhood and elsewhere can provide excellent opportunities to build wholesome relationships with others. Group activities (approved by parents and pleasing to God) are a good way of getting to know one another. Though we should be a friend to all, what should be true about our closest companions and associates (Psalm 119:63)? __________________________________________________________________________________
The dictionary defines "petting" as "engaging in embracing, caressing and kissing." Let us now consider carefully what God says about such things:
God is not against hugging! God is not opposed to kissing and caressing! These are not terrible things, they are wonderful things IN THEIR PROPER PLACE. Remember, sex does not equal sin. Jim Smith explains this as follows:
"Petting is not wrong. It isn’t sinful or dirty, that is, in its right place, for you see, petting is the God-given means of bringing man and woman into the sexual act. Its place is in marriage, and in its place it can be a very beautiful, wholesome and God-given thing leading to the most beautiful expression of a man for his wife.
But things can get out of their proper place. Take water, for instance. Nothing wrong with water--man has to have it to survive. But take water out of its proper place, as in a flood, and it can be terribly devastating--a curse instead of a blessing. It can bring havoc, destruction and misery to millions. Petting, too, can get out of place, and wreak havoc, destruction and misery. Out of the marriage relationship it brings heartache, contempt, disillusionment and disappointment." (From an article by Jim Smith entitled "Deceived" in the booklet Dating Tips for Christian Youth, Back to the Bible Broadcast, 1962, pages 50-51).
God clearly teaches us in His Word that sexual activity belongs in marriage, not outside of marriage. Consider the following passages of Scripture:
The "bed" is that place where petting and sexual activity normally occurs. God’s approval and blessing is placed upon the MARRIAGE BED. Any other kind of bed is subject to the judgment of God. This important verse (Hebrews 13:4) was previously studied in chapter 6.
The sexual activity described in these verses is something holy and wonderful and beautiful because it involves (choose the right answer):
a boyfriend and a girlfriend
two young people who are "going steady."
a couple who is engaged to be married
a husband and his WIFE (see verse 18)
When did Joseph first come to know Mary in a physical (sexual) way? (see Matthew 1:25) ____________________________________________________________________ Joseph was very careful about this lest anyone should ever think that he was the father of Jesus! The period prior to marriage is a wonderful time to get to know another person spiritually, mentally, socially and in many other ways. Marriage is the time to begin to know your mate sexually. Does Matthew 1:25 support the Roman Catholic teaching that Mary remained a virgin all the days of her life (see also Mark 6:3)? _________
In this account, Abimelech (an unsaved, heathen king) looked out his window and he saw Isaac sporting with Rebekah. The word "sporting" means that he was "playing" with her in a sexual way. Today we would refer to this as some sort of "love play" or caressing. When the king saw this (see verse 9), he knew that:
Rebekah must be Isaac’s girlfriend
Rebekah must be Isaac’s fiancée
Rebekah must be Isaac’s WIFE.
This pagan king understood what many today do not! He understood that this kind of sexual activity was only appropriate in marriage! Note: There was nothing wrong with what Isaac and his wife were doing, although they should have found a more private place to express their love. What was Isaac’s sin (verses 7 and 9)? _____________________________________________
Some might say, "What’s wrong with a little sex before marriage?" The problem is that a little sex leads to a little more! God has built into man and woman a powerful sex drive, and we must understand the steps to sexual arousal:
These different steps and stages are wonderful and satisfying in marriage, and are designed to bring a husband and wife to the final step which is intercourse, as the two become ONE ___________ (Ephesians 5:31). Each step is intended to lead to the next. This is why it is dangerous for an unmarried couple to experiment with a "little sex." A small amount of physical contact always leads to more. Holding hands may be satisfying at first, but soon the novelty and thrill of holding hands will wear off, and there will be a need to go a step further. Soon they will go further and further, deeper and deeper. This can only result in frustration, guilt, tragedy, pain and scars that could remain with the person for the rest of his/her life.
It is very possible to get going on a down hill course to the point where you are unable to stop. Consider a person sitting on a toboggan on the top of a hill and saying, "I don’t want to go down this dangerous slope. I just want to approach the brow of this hill little by little to see if it is really as steep as I have been told." One little inch forward could start the sled flying, and even though the person did not want to go down, he must because he has gone a little too far!
Suppose you lived next door to an ice cream shop and whenever you felt like it you could buy all the ice cream you wanted. Do you think the ice cream would soon become rather commonplace? Suppose, on the other hand, that your doctor told you to remove ice cream from your diet for 6 months. After those 6 months are over, how do you think your first ice cream cone would taste?
In the same way, those who follow God’s instructions and abstain from sexual activity in the years prior to marriage will have a wonderful and blessed experience when they are finally married. How terrible and tragic for two people to get married, arrive at the motel on the first night and sadly admit to each other, "There’s nothing special about this night, we’ve done all this before!"
Christian young people should want to present a good testimony before God and men. If two young people are seen holding hands in public, onlookers may think, "If they do this in public, I wonder what they do in private." The rule is this: Physical contact always goes at least one step further in private. When two young people avoid any kind of physical contact, they are giving forth this message: "The proper place for physical contact is in the privacy of holy marriage. Since we want God’s highest and best, we are pursuing and picturing PURITY!"
Ultimately, whether you stay pure and clean is YOUR CHOICE! You must decide. God has already decided what is best for you. Will you AGREE with God’s decision? Will you follow His perfect plan for you? Do you believe that He really knows what is best for you and wants what is best for you?
I've never met anyone who regretted waiting for marriage. I know a countless number of people who have deeply regretted not waiting.
In God's time and in God's way;
In the meanwhile I can cheerfully obey!
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